by Gladys Diaz
For those who celebrate the holiday, today is a day of trick and treats, and where people are open to feeling a little frightened. It’s part of what makes the holiday fun!
When it comes, to relationships, however, being tricked and feeling frightened is not the type of fun we’re seeking!
As exhilarating and wonderful as falling and staying in love can be, it can also be one of the scariest experiences we’ll go through! It’s not the kissing, hugging, and spending time together that is frightening. What makes love seem scary is (1) all of the “stuff” we make up in our minds about what love is and should be, and (2) the amount of vulnerability it takes to let someone into our hearts.
Whether I’m talking to a single woman who is describing the man she’s considering dating, or the woman who has been married to the same man for years, I’m always fascinated to hear how much judgment there is around love.
The ironic thing is that what people say they want most in a relationship is to experience “unconditional love”! Yet, when it comes to looking over at the person on the other side of the date or relationship, there are so many thoughts and ideas about how he should be, think, and act, what he should be doing or not doing, that there is very little space for the man to just be himself.
Add to that the fact that you’re concerned about not being loved and accepted for who you are, and you’ve got a sure-fire recipe for fear!
What is it that makes opening our hearts feel like such a frightening thing?
The thought of someone finding out something about you that you are ashamed or embarrassed about or that may cause him to stop loving you can have you pretending to be someone you’re not a lot of the time.
The idea that you might open your heart to someone, only to have it broken again, can cause you to guard yourself to the point that you’re actually shutting the other person out, not allowing him a chance at giving you the love you so deeply desire.
The truth of the matter is this: To love takes courage.
Whether you are out there dating and getting to know new people in the hopes of meeting the man with whom you’ll share the rest of your life, or you are already with that man and you’re working on creating a lifetime love, it takes a tremendous amount of courage to step out from behind the walls you’ve built up to protect yourself from experiencing pain and open your heart to someone – especially when there are no guarantees about how things are eventually going to turn out.
But, however scary it feels, you’ve got to be courageous.
You have to trust yourself enough to take a risk.
And the faith that you will experience the love your heart desires needs to be bigger than the fear that you might not.
Wherever you are in your love life, make a choice today to step out in faith, to do something that you’ve been afraid to do before, and to be vulnerable.
Yes, you’ll probably feel a little frightened. That’s okay. Be courageous and do it, anyway!
It’s the only way to break through the fear and possibly experience a love that’s sweeter than any piece of candy you may find in your pumpkin at the end of the night!
Be brave today, and always remember that you are loved!
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