by Gladys Diaz
This month I have had the privilege of attending two informative and inspiring business conferences especially for women. Usually, at these events, the majority of the speakers are women who have reached high levels of success, so I was pleasantly surprised and excited to hear from five multimillionaire men who were sharing their secrets to success with us
But it’s what they shared that really caught me by surprise!
See, I was thinking they were going to tell us all about the steps they took to start a business, market themselves, and catapult their businesses into the millions. Instead, every single one of them told us the story of how difficult it was for them at the beginning, how they failed over and over again, and how one thing kept them going and believing in themselves through the darkest times: The support and trust of the women they loved!
Without fail, each of the men shared how, right when he was about to give up on himself and his dreams, his wife said the one thing that made the difference and had him make the decision to do whatever it took to succeed:
“I trust and believe in you.”
Now, granted, saying those words is a lot easier when the man you love is doing well, achieving success, and getting results.
But how do you find the strength and courage to authentically say that, even when all signs are pointing to failed attempts, one disappointment after another, and a lack of results?
- You remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. It can be easy to forget just how much you admired him and the greatness you saw in him when you first fell in love. It’s easier to allow your fears, doubts and disappointments to cloud the vision of who the man you love really is. However, if you can bring yourself back to remember what it was that had you decide that this man is the man who, at one time in your life, you were 100% certain you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, it makes it a whole lot easier to believe in him, because his courage, determination, and whatever other characteristics that drew you to him are still there! You just have to look more closely to see them.
- You stand next to him with unwavering trust. Our fears are sneaky things. They will convince us beyond a shadow of a doubt that things can’t change, that the worst-case scenario is inevitable and that we must protect ourselves and survive danger at all costs. Whether the fear you are experiencing during the difficult times is based in a fear of scarcity (not having your needs met), fear of abandonment, or a fear of being taken advantage of (especially if you’re having to work a little harder during those difficult times), feeling afraid and uncertain about the future can trigger that “fight-or-flight” response that can have you either complaining, criticizing, or chipping away at your man’s spirit, or wanting to run away and leave everything (including him) behind. It takes courage to trust him. It takes courage to trust that things will get better. And, most of all, it takes courage to trust in yourself and know that you made the right choice when you chose to love him!
- You speak words that lift him up, rather than tear him down. There may be times when your fear, sadness, and disappointment feel like they are getting the best of you. You may think that telling him and reminding him about what he needs to do will get him to do it. You may think that criticizing, questioning, or correcting his decisions will make him want to change. You may think that pointing out everything you feel he is doing wrong or should be doing differently will lead to different results. The truth, however, is that, if you want him to rise above the circumstances, you need to raise him up with your words.
True, your man is completely responsible for his own happiness and for the choices he makes. However, never underestimate the influence you have on him and how he comes to see and know himself. He sees himself and what he’s capable of through your eyes, and way you see him can either tear him down or lift him up. It can either discourage and deter or encourage and inspire him to new heights!
So, what does your man see when he looks into your eyes?
Does he see cynicism, doubt, and shame, or does he see trust, faith, and love?
If you have been tearing your man down out of your own fears and frustrations, the good news is that every moment gives us an opportunity to choose differently.
So, what will you choose to do and say today to help inspire your man to greatness?
Because, when it’s all said and done and he’s finally made it to the top, guess who he’s going to make sure is up there with him?
Let us know what you’re going to do today to inspire your man to greatness in the comments below! We love hearing from you!